I’ve saved every blank book I ever filled – from the first hardbound, mottled watercolor cover to the psychedelic smiley faces. All but the most recent sit high upon a shelf, my own little archive of embarrassing moments.
Every so often – when I have to move my collection from point a to point b, when I’m feeling nostalgic, or looking for a particular passage – I’ll skim the pages and revisit my words, my state of being at that point in time. Sometimes the words are merely confessional, the quintessential catharsis for which we all count on ‘dear diary’. Sometimes the paragraphs give way to great insight. Sometimes, I read a passage that takes my breath away, that makes me flush with the way the words are crafted, the beauty and power of their make-up. I crafted such quality? My God, I really can write. And then I find the author’s attribute, my little indent and dash noting the actual author’s name. Drat. Foiled again.
Though even in that moment just before I discover the author’s name, as I still unbelievingly read ‘my words’, it’s not a self-congratulatory moment. There’s always a shock and awe involved. A pinch-myself moment where I get a glimpse of the holy grail of writing. Is it really possible? For me? By me?
But then, a few months ago, out of the blue, my aunt asked me what were some of the favorite things I’d written on this blog. A few irreverent attempts at humor came to mind; the inaugural post explaining what all these potatoes are, of course. When I actually dove into the blog to review, I realized just how much writing I’ve done on here. Lots to sift through! And lots to reorganize, I realized (so I – and hopefully you – can find it all).
A day or so later, I received an email from that same aunt with a link to a video. A marketing and public relations professional by trade, she’d been working with a new platform and wanted to share it with me. I clicked, eager to see what she’d created. Striking images flowed across the screen, dovetailing each other seamlessly. Sentences strung together over them told a story.
It wasn’t until nearly halfway through the video that I realized they were my words.
The same shock and awe that usually came over me as I read evocative passages in my journals occurred – only this time, it was I who had penned the words. The shock and awe were accompanied by gratification. And a little disbelief. My journal dreams may yet come true.
The video that started it all . . .
Thanks to Janet Crook for helping me visualize in more ways than one.
2 thoughts on “Shock and Awe”
Wow, Jennifer, this is beautiful and amazing and. . . just WOW. You have such a gift and thanks to the aunt who so lovingly and giftedly put it together, too, so all of us can enjoy your beauty and brilliance.
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Thank YOU for being such an ardent supporter from the moment we ‘met’.
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