In my post Thursday, I discussed the pitfalls of postpartum in dads. There is a major one I erroneously omitted.
One more thing for postpartum moms to worry about
In all my talk about supporting dads in their postpartum world, I failed to think what such advice/discussion would do to a mom currently suffering from postpartum. Though I’ve still got plenty of issues to sort out, I am no longer in the deep, dark depths of my postpartum period. I have traveled far enough beyond it to be able to reflect upon what the experience was like for my husband. In the midst of it, however, I couldn’t help myself – let alone another human. I apologized for lashing out; I thanked him for his support; I commiserated when he said he didn’t know what to do. But beyond that, there was nothing I could do for him. Nothing except put myself back together. And that took all my energy.
So all you women and mothers suffering from postpartum mood disorders out there, my last post was not meant to make you feel bad. It was not meant to give you one more thing to feel shitty about. To make you think you’ve ruined one more life.
Let me reiterate the point that it takes an entire community to surround and uplift the postpartum tribe. It should not fall to you to do everything.
Yes, dad needs support, but you don’t have to be the only one to give it to him. You may not be able to at all. And that’s okay.
People outside your tight-knit trio need to help put you all back together.