anxiety, motherhood

A Note to My Children, Aged 34 and 7/8

Always wipe the table free of crumbs after dinner.  You will not have time to do it in the .5 second panic tomorrow morning when someone unexpectedly rings the doorbell.

Likewise with sweeping the crumbs that got knocked onto the floor.  Toys strewn across the floor you can blame on kids; crumbs may have been made by the kids, but people start thinking you’re unclean if you leave them lying around.  I know, it’s unfair.

As much as you enjoy staying in your pajamas, your flannels should not see 2PM.  It’s kind of hard to explain that away unless you’re sick – again, to the unexpected visitor.

Clean your stairs.  Well, the parts that don’t get swiffed clean by stampeding feet.  The corners where Dust E. Bunny and his wig making factory reside.  This is especially essential if you live in a cape like your mother has chosen to do two times over (!?) as your front door opens directly onto the stairs.

In other words, keep a modicum of clean in your house.  You know not when the unexpected visitor ringeth.


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