Tag Archives: women supporting women

childbirth

The Dish on Doulas

As this past October dawned, I woke early on a Saturday, put on some presentable clothes, and drove an hour north to a farmers’ market – and I didn’t even need any produce.

I was researching an article on doulas for Rhode Island Moms. My initial idea was “An Interview with a Doula” to create a personal connection introducing how and what doulas offer. After discussions with three doulas I either knew personally or through a few degrees of separation, the article’s focus became more broad-based. When I saw that Doulas of Rhode Island (DORI) was hosting a Meet the Doulas event at Lippitt Park in conjunction with the farmers’ market, I knew I’d learn even more.

What is a doula?
Click to read more of my article on rhodeislandmoms.com

My trusty little notebook quickly became filled with the emotional and physical support these women provide to mothers everyday in hospitals and homes. I spoke to Emma setting up the table and welcoming guests. I spoke to Katherine, membership coordinator for the doula organization (who connected me with Paulette who gave me more info via phone). I met Ava, based in my neck of the woods and friends with a Warrior Mom doula I know. I met Emily, who had just relocated to Rhode Island and was getting the lay of the land for mamas here. I met Shay who translated her own birth experience into a way forward with future moms. Some of these women prepare mothers in the prenatal phase and see them through labor. Others support them during labor and at home postpartum. Some prepare nutritious foods and provide childcare while mom sleeps. Some do it all. All establish a solid and supportive foundation for moms to thrive.

While it wasn’t meant to be an article about mental health, that is often the lens through which I view issues. I asked several of the doulas what they do to support and assess mental health/illness in their clients. They obviously all watch for the signs and know when to call in help, but I was shocked by the surprisingly simple, yet profound, response Lily had. As a postpartum doula and overnight nanny, she emphasized the benefit of sleep, how even PMAD treatment programs and hospitals focus on mom getting adequate sleep.

How refreshing that if we ensure moms get what they need (ie sleep, nutritious food, companionship, informed decision making), mood disorders may not even arise!

And THAT is why doulas are a force to be employed, paid attention to, and celebrated.

I spent over two hours speaking to and circulating around the doulas of Rhode Island and their table. I told Emily that I could talk about maternal (mental) health all day. “Me too,” she said.

The article that went to press November 5, 2024 could not contain all the stories and wonderful women I met. The way I serve women and mothers is affected by them. I am thankful for their work and their sharing.

With a community like this, women and mothers cannot go wrong.

The doulas who shared their work and time with me. . .
Many thanks

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Sebastian Voortman from Pexels
may is maternal mental health month

Female Fulcrum

Who would’ve thought that being an adult volunteer with Girl Scouts would pay such dividends? Obviously there’s the bonding with one’s own child and building experiences for all in the troop. But the connections between the grown females is what always moves me.

At our troop’s camp-out this year, another mom and I rallied the girls to set up an oversized see-saw contraption. Essentially a wooden dock on a fulcrum, we had to slide it from ramp position to a teetering position so as to ‘ride the waves’. Two grown adults couldn’t do it by themselves and everything Girl Scouts is GIRL-led, so the entire troop found a spot and together we lifted and slid the slab into place.

As the girls leapt onto the sloshing see-saw one by one and experimented with movement and weight distribution, the mom and I marveled at the power of the physical example right in front of our faces.

Teamwork. Small actions combining for a great force. Empowerment. Goal realization.

I remarked how important it was for girls to be in an environment solely for them with ample space for their voices and desires. This led into a conversation about this mom’s experience as a personal and fitness coach, saying that a young man in the administration of her organization had tried to offer tips for improving her practices. She and her core group had already found an incredibly enriching and cohesive bond. She, as a woman, in a different age bracket, and a mother, had all she needed to interface with these women. She had lived in experience.

“There is such power when women gather,” I said.

“Absolutely,” she said. “Especially when it’s a space just for them.”

We looked at each other knowingly, nodding, and I know my eyes were certainly filling.

And all that from a cold, rainy, muddy weekend at camp strong-arming a wooden raft into a precarious – or perfectly balanced – position.

But the community and calm knowing that comes from a gathering of women is what I want to celebrate and what I know to be at the core of maternal mental health.

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