I will read this whenever I wish these moments away. So much better than ‘Enjoy them while they’re young. It goes by so fast.’ Thank you, Dennis Ference.
What does one make of this time?
A time filled to the very edge
with emotions almost unbearable.
At first taste, sadness.
But then again joy,
and pride and fulfillment.
Yes, it is our son
who is leaving this time –
the youngest,
the last to go,
farther away than the first.
But in the symbol of the leaving
is also the daughter, the first.
For something deeply significant happens
this time around
for mother and father –
the close of a chapter
never to be repeated.
And we stand in awe
of what, or rather, who
has come to be.
For we, husband and wife, have loved
out of a oneness
that we have been destined to live.
And out of that oneness
has blossomed life
that in this strange mystery
that we are all part of,
has shared deeply in our union
and yet has always been meant
It’s easy to hate the elderly woman in the grocery store. I think we’ve all met one. The thing is, it’s easy for her to say you’re experiencing the best years of your life, because she’s no longer there. She’s suffered through them, blocked out the truly horrific parts, and sees them now through the rose-colored lens of nostalgia. I would venture to say that 99.9% of these old women hated their circumstances when they were up to their knees in baby duties (and dooty) themselves.
Unless they came from the generation before the one the author of this article references – the one that was told she could have and do everything. Maybe they did just focus on motherhood. But I tend to think that pesky ‘id’ was stirring things up even before society got in on it. That’s a whole other animal in and of itself.
I’m on my third turn around the mommy merry-go-round – and, if God has pity on me, my last (yes, there’s an animal behind that, too). I am much more aware of the increasingly solid weight on my lap. I try to hold each grasp a bit longer, bury my head into the sweet-smelling hair of childhood. I’m learning the gratitude, but I’m still not the old lady in the grocery store. And I still think it’s perfectly acceptable to think she’s off her rocker without being off mine.
When we start a blog instead of simply keeping a private diary, it’s because we want to connect with others. When you start to blog, you join a community.
It comes as no surprise that many bloggers are drawn to online communities as a place to work through challenges — to heal and process, find others with similar experiences, and seek (or offer) support. There are lots of supportive communities around WordPress.com: women dealing with breast cancer, people managing diabetes, parents of children with unique needs, and many, many more. Throughout January, we’ll be zooming in on how bloggers use WordPress.com to support their health and wellness.
Today, on the heels of the Blog for Mental Health 2014 kick-off, we’re focusing on mental health. Read on for a look at the many ways WordPress.com bloggers use their sites to improve their own lives, and the lives of others who have…
Two sides of a coin. Yin and Yang. Juxtaposition. Oxymoron. Paradox. Jumbo Shrimp.
Just call me an illustrative thesaurus of harsh contrast.
I went to the beach today. Amidst the flying flakes. The frigid temperatures. The howling wind.
Photo Jennifer Butler Basile
As I looked at the caked snow curved across the sand, looking like the negative of the waves that rushed up and left the graceful arc of its crust, I thought how perfect it was that I was there on this stormy morning when my children were elsewhere. When I already felt suspended in some surreal alternative reality. It is truly bizarre when the nonstop duties of mothering fall away. Like going to that place of sun and refreshing surf when it’s overcast and chilling to the bone. There is a void not unlike the cupped depressions in the sand where the winter waves eat away at the coast. It’s gorgeous, but it feels so foreign it’s unnerving. I’m reminded of the needed buffer that comes with vacations – the time it takes to unwind before you can truly enjoy the relaxation of vacation. But there is no time here. I must embrace this as swiftly as the sand that sweeps across the snow drifts leaving a fine layer of brown sugar. That is what I must remember. That there is always a bit of sweet and beauty atop even the harshest landscapes. You just have to train your eyes and heart and mind to work in concert – and do so allegro.
“My life was mostly touch in those days. . . All day long I touched the clean plates and bowls as I put them away, and the children’s heads slimy under shampoo in the tub, and the softness of their faces, and the scrape of poop off their goose pimpling backsides, the hot noodles, the heavy wet laundry as I threw it into the dryer, and the brick front steps as i sat reading to myself for eight minutes while they played just beyond the page in the prickling new grass, and then when one of them fell down I touched the grass and the mud and the scraped knee, and the sticky Band-Aids, and the wet cheek, and my jeans, and the dangling shoelace.” — Elizabeth Kostova, The Swan Thieves.
I used to think of myself as an affectionate person. At least I don’t remember being repulsed…
Sherri Matthews, writer renown of A View from My Summerhouse, has invited me to be part of her WordPress family. Well, she did a few months ago, but as anyone in my flesh and bone family can attest to, Sherri, it often takes me awhile to get around to things. So this makes it official, I suppose!
Sherri included a description of the award from its creator, Shaun:
‘This is an award for everyone who is part of the “WordPress Family” I started this award on the basis that the WordPress family has taken me in, and showed me love and a caring side only WordPress can. The way people take a second to be nice, to answer a question and not make things a competition amazes me here. I know I have been given many awards, but I wanted to leave my own legacy on here by creating my own award, as many have done before. This represents “Family” we never meet, but are there for us as family. It is my honour to start this award.’
The rules of the award (maybe people actually follow rules in this family 😉 ):
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 10 others who have positively impacted your WordPress experience.
4. Don’t forget to let your WordPress family members know of your nomination.
5. That’s it! Just pick 10 people that have accepted you as a friend, and spread the love!
And the nominees are . . .
Right back at ya, Sherri. Always a warm word, a thoughtful observation, encouragement. I feel that I’ve gotten to know her through her posts and discussion of mine. Beautiful writing just this side of the raw edge of life. Thank you.
Patty Mitchell – a lovely woman and talented writer I met at an intensive institute in June. She wrote her mother’s memoir, which just reinforces my feeling that she’s all about a life well-lived, tradition, legacy, a good story, and good food.
Free Little Words – Kelly Hibbert has taken a hiatus from blogging – so she can write. And, no, that’s not antithetical. I miss the love she brings to the page and world through the computer screen, but totally get that she needs to focus that on her own little corner of the world for now. Still, her blog archive is more than worth a read.
Infinite Sadness . . . or Hope? – Cate is fabulous. A great wit despite – or perhaps because of – chronic pain and mental health struggles. Totally thought-provoking commentary on life, important issues, spirituality, struggles . . . and thoughtful discussion with me. Thank you!
Sorrygnat – Always a positive, life-affirming voice in the hard face of life. I think we’re traveling the same path at different points in time (though Esther is so much more positive than I!)
Tiny Steps, Big Journey – A gorgeous, raw look at single motherhood. The struggles and simply profound pleasures.
A Canvas of the Mind – Ruby Tuesday – what a gift to the blogging world. She reaches out to all seeking help, info, or support in dealing with mental illness through her posts and guest bloggers, but reach out to her, and she responds in kind.
Sid Dunnebacke – A blogging friend of a friend (of a friend?). I’m not sure what the degrees of separation are, but Sid found his way to Chopping Potatoes and I’m glad. I love his photos and honest appraisal of life through the scope of depression. And I totally appreciate his thoughtful comments on my posts – like his humorous take on my conversational run-in with my 84 year-old grandmother 😉
Ericka Clay – We have a lot in common: mothers of girls, writers, anxiety-ridden people . . . Ericka is a star on the rise. You will not be disappointed with her writing.
My Thoughts on a Page – Tric gives me a modern insight on my Irish ancestors – the traits and quirks and humor that have survived the jump across the pond. Her blog offers beautiful insights into the human condition and our journey through it.
Thank you to all of you for your amazing writing, your perceptive outlooks on life, and your personal and thoughtful conversation in a generally impersonal medium. Bravo.
Now get on your good foot and get down to the staple of all family functions:
Depression isn’t a thing that people ever yearn for, or wish to acquire.
Those who experience this malevolent juggernaut of a psychosis don’t have “depression appreciation” days. We don’t congregate in throngs to throw our sad hands up in the air and praise depression’s forlorn overlord.
Nope. Depression’s the sort of thing that people usually despise. It’s an emotion, a train of thought, a feeling – a self-destructive entity living inside of us – that we, the Depressos, wish would leave us alone, and never return.
It’s abusive. It makes us hurt. It makes us cry. It tells us that we’re worthless. It smells funny. And ultimately, its happiness is contingent on our misery.
But today, I thought I’d do something a little bit different. Instead of poo-pooing depression, and all that it encompasses, I thought I’d outline the benefits that live inside of depression’s hapless…
“How simple it is to see
that all the worry in the world
cannot control the future.
How simple it is to see
that we can only be happy now.
And that there will never be a time
when it is not now.”
Chopping Potatoes 