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Living

Looping Me In

Drawing a circle over a circle over a circle

That’s how Kate Bowler describes anxiety.

I laughed knowingly as I read it out loud

because I know that feeling, that repetitive loop

of thoughts, of sensations

But now my ‘normal’ anxiety loop is piggybacked by the dopamine loop

of what I use to ignore my anxiety –

or what is causing my anxiety.

And as hard as it is to get out of an endless cycle of anxiety,

I worry if I’ll ever be able to escape this other addictive loop.

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