As we saw with last month’s theme, achieving balance is often about moving between two poles.

The poles may not be in direct opposition, but often, we feel discomfort if we stay too far to one end.

Keep this in mind as we move through this month’s modules.

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Une

Consider printing out the graphic below for the next exercise or turn to a new page in your notebook.

Within and around the block letters of ‘mother’ or under your own heading, write down the meaning of this word. Words and phrases you associate with it. Actions or ways of being that define it. What it means to you.

When you think you’ve written all your ideas down, leave your page for a bit – an afternoon, a day. Revisit it once that time has elapsed and add anything else that came to mind.

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Deux

With your notes and ideas from the above exercise in hand, read what Nancy Darling, a developmental psychologist, said about parenting.

Do you have similar examples or ideas in your definition of ‘mother’?

Circle all the items on your list you would qualify as the ‘least pleasurable’ parts of motherhood.

Is your list or writing made up entirely of ‘hard work’?

What’s left?

Reflect on this for a bit. Write down your thoughts and feelings about this part of mothering.

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Trois

In a quiet reflective state, ingest the following quote from John Lanchester’s memoir, Family Romance.

Place your ‘mother’ reflection in front of you.

In light of what you see as mothering, consider the following:

• duty
• care
• hard work
• want to do/have to do
• dislike
• doing the right thing

Write down whatever comes into your head. Let your ideas and feelings flow from your mind to your pen unencumbered. No thoughts, ideas, feelings are right, wrong, or permanent. Take stock of your relationship to mothering in this moment. Give yourself a fair amount of time to sit with this.

Perhaps you will need another sit-down with this later in the week.